A new large-scale study published in The Journal of Sex Research provides a deep dive into the phenomenon of faking orgasms. The research is among the first to examine not only the prevalence of faking orgasms among both women and men but also the reasons people stop, shedding light on a rarely explored aspect of sexual dynamics.
While often treated as a lighthearted topic in popular culture, faking orgasms reflects deeper dynamics in relationships, sexual communication, and personal satisfaction. People may fake orgasms for various reasons, including a desire to end sexual activity, wanting to please a partner, or feeling pressured to conform to societal norms about sexual performance and satisfaction.
Despite being a relatively common behavior, especially among women with male partners, the act of faking orgasms has primarily been studied in terms of why people engage in it. Far less attention has been given to understanding why some individuals stop faking orgasms and how that decision impacts their sexual and relational well-being. This gap in research motivated the current study.
“Given how much attention is given to reasons for faking orgasms, I thought it would be interesting to look at the other side of the coin and see whether people stop faking and reasons for stopping,” said study author Silvia Pavan, a PhD student at the University of Copenhagen. “It was also interesting to be able to shed light on the fact that it is not just women who fake orgasms, and that there might be more to faking than just the act itself.”
For their study, the researchers used an online survey to collect data from 11,541 participants across six European countries: Denmark, Sweden, Norway, Finland, France, and the United Kingdom. Participants ranged in age from 18 to 80 and were selected to represent their respective national populations in terms of gender, age, and geographic region.
The recruitment process was facilitated by Cint, a market research platform that used a variety of outreach methods, such as email invitations and newsletters, to gather a diverse and representative sample. The survey was conducted between May and June 2022.
The researchers found that just over half of the participants, approximately 51%, reported never having faked an orgasm. Among men, 65.79% reported never faking an orgasm, compared to 36.41% of women. In contrast, 18.74% of men and 34.41% of women had faked orgasms in the past but stopped, while 8.59% of men and 18.11% of women were currently faking orgasms.
Regarding reasons for stopping, both genders reported similar rates for improvements in partner attentiveness (24.21% of men, 24.42% of women) and communicating preferences (26.51% of men, 26.54% of women).
However, notable differences emerged in other categories: more women reported stopping due to becoming comfortable without having an orgasm (29.30% vs. 25.36%) or exploring ways to achieve orgasms on their own (18.51% of women vs. 19.33% of men). Men were more likely than women to stop because they were caught faking (11.96% vs. 2.61%) or because they were no longer sexually active (14.55% vs. 10.44%).
“We believe that when it comes to experiencing pleasure with a partner, having transparent communication with them is key,” Pavan told PsyPost. “When looking at reasons why people stopped faking orgasms, the main reason for stopping was being more comfortable with not having one, indicating a shift in perspective about the expectations one has from sex and the experience of pleasure.”
“Also, telling their partner what their desires and preferences are and having a partner that is responsive to those desires and preferences were mentioned as reasons for stopping, indicating transparent and active communication between two individuals was pivotal.”
Those who were currently faking orgasms tended to report lower satisfaction across sexual, relationship, and life domains compared to individuals who had never faked orgasms or had stopped faking. However, the overall effect was very small. In other words, while the association between faking orgasms and reduced satisfaction was statistically significant, the practical impact on overall satisfaction levels was minimal.
The findings highlight “that having an orgasm does not equal having good sex—you do not need to have an orgasm to enjoy sex and feel pleasure,” Pavan said.
Participants who had faked orgasms—either currently or in the past—were more likely to own and use sex toys, especially for solo activities. On the other hand, those who had never faked orgasms were more likely to use sex toys with a partner.
“It was interesting to find a connection between faking orgasms and the context of sex toy use,” Pavan told PsyPost. “This may be to achieve different objectives: individuals who fake orgasms might be seeking pleasure and orgasms independently, while individuals who stopped or have never faked might be using sex toys for further exploration and adding new elements to their coupled sex lives.”
The analysis also identified key factors associated with currently faking orgasms compared to never having faked. Women, individuals identifying as homosexual, those with children, individuals with more lifetime sexual partners, and participants from France and Norway were more likely to report currently faking orgasms. In contrast, older participants, those in relationships and living with their partners, those experiencing orgasms more frequently, and participants from Finland and Norway were less likely to fake orgasms.
Further analysis among individuals in relationships revealed that those in open relationships were more likely to have faked orgasms in the past and to currently fake orgasms compared to those who never faked. Individuals in longer-lasting relationships were less likely to have faked orgasms, whether currently or in the past, suggesting that relationship stability may reduce the likelihood of faking orgasms.
While the study provides valuable insights, it has limitations. The data came from self-reported surveys, which are subject to social desirability bias—participants may have underreported or misrepresented their behaviors.
Future research could explore cultural differences more deeply and examine the role of sex toys in mitigating or exacerbating orgasm-related challenges. Longitudinal studies could also help clarify how faking behaviors evolve over time and what factors contribute to sustained changes in sexual practices.
The long-term goal of this line of research is “to normalize sex and pleasure, as sexual health is one of the main pillars of health,” Pavan explained. “To put it simply, ‘the birds do it, the bees do it,’ it is human nature to seek pleasure and have sex.”
“It is unfortunate how often sex is considered wrong or dirty, and to be abstained from, because avoiding talking about it and not being properly informed puts us and our well-being at risk. I believe it is important to have the knowledge and information to be able to protect ourselves and make informed choices throughout our lives, including about sex. This may relate to knowing oneself well enough to recognize what we like and what we dislike so that we can keep doing what we like and stop or avoid doing something that we don’t, especially when there is a partner involved.”
“On one hand, having this awareness can help keep us safe, recognize when our boundaries are being violated, and alert us about whether we might be in a harmful situation,” Pavan continued. “On the other hand, it is also about exploring the beautiful things in life, including pleasure, and what our personal preferences might be, to keep pursuing things that bring us enjoyment and satisfaction.”
“Our research showed how people who faked orgasms reported lower sexual, relationship, and life satisfaction. It may be that faking orgasms is a behavior that masks other things one is unsatisfied with or unhappy about in their lives, so I believe it is in our best interest to continue this research in the name of promoting (sexual) health and well-being.”
The study, “Why Did You Stop? Reasons for Stopping Faking Orgasms and Its Association with Sexual, Relationship, and Life Satisfaction in Denmark, Finland, France, Norway, Sweden, and the UK,” was authored by Silvia Pavan, Camilla S. Øverup, and Gert Martin Hald.
