Separated fathers struggle to maintain contact with children, especially daughters, study finds

Parental separation can strain family bonds, but the effects are not evenly distributed between mothers and fathers. A new study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family has found that fathers in Italy tend to have significantly less contact with their children after separation, with this gap being especially wide for daughters. Even in the digital age, where communication tools are more accessible, separated fathers struggle to maintain consistent relationships.

Parental separation disrupts family dynamics, often reducing parental involvement. Previous research has shown that fathers tend to lose more contact with their children than mothers after separation. However, less is understood about how these patterns vary depending on the child’s gender and the methods of communication used.

Understanding these dynamics is particularly important in Italy, where family ties are traditionally strong, and mothers often play a central role in maintaining familial relationships. A new study aimed to explore how gender differences manifest in face-to-face, phone, and digital communication between separated parents and their children, focusing on adult children in an Italian context.

“My interest in this topic stems from two societal changes in many Western countries,” said study author Marco Tosi, an associate professor of statistical sciences at the University of Padua and head of the KinHealth research project.

“First, family structures are changing, with a multiplication of diverse relationship types, including those arising from parental divorce, such as stepfamilies. I am interested in the consequences of these changes on family relationships and how these consequences interact with gender differences between mothers and fathers as well as between sons and daughters.”

“Second, the rise of digitalization has introduced new ways to maintain parent-child contact, even after separation. Digital tools enable communication without requiring emotional investment or direct confrontation, which is a fascinating dynamic to explore.”

“Additionally, I believe Italy is a particularly interesting case because divorce rates have only recently started increasing compared to other Western countries, and Italian society is traditionally regarded as ‘familistic,’ with a strong emphasis on family ties. However, this cultural aspect seems to be shifting as family forms diversify.”

The researchers utilized data from the Families, Social Subjects and Life Cycle survey conducted by the Italian National Statistical Office in 2014. This survey provided comprehensive demographic and relationship information from over 24,000 households, making it an ideal dataset for studying intergenerational contact patterns.

The study focused specifically on adult children aged 30–55 who no longer lived with their parents. These age limits were chosen to explore parent-adult child relationships in families where children had transitioned to independent living while excluding older generations where parental separation was less common.

From the survey, the researchers identified a final sample of 6,770 adult children, corresponding to 11,041 parent-child pairs. They excluded cases where children were still living with parents, where parents had separated after the child turned 17, or where data was incomplete. This ensured the focus remained on families where parental separation occurred during the child’s formative years and where subsequent contact could be measured accurately.

The researchers observed clear gender disparities in parent-child contact after separation. In separated families, fathers were much less likely than mothers to have frequent contact with their children. This pattern was consistent across all communication types, though the gap was most significant for face-to-face and phone interactions.

The disparities between separated mothers and fathers were larger in father-daughter relationships than in father-son relationships. For instance, separated fathers were 29 percentage points less likely than mothers to have frequent face-to-face contact with daughters and 35 percentage points less likely to maintain frequent phone communication. Sons were less likely to differentiate their contact patterns between mothers and fathers, resulting in a smaller gender gap.

“Separated fathers and their daughters are particularly disadvantaged in maintaining contact after parental separation, which may result in both older fathers and young adult daughters receiving less support when needed,” Tosi told PsyPost.

Fathers who had less frequent in-person contact with their children were also less likely to maintain regular phone or digital communication. This supports the “accumulation hypothesis,” which posits that reduced face-to-face contact compounds difficulties in other forms of interaction. In contrast, fathers who maintained frequent in-person contact were more likely to stay connected through phone and digital means as well.

“Initially, I believed that digital devices would at least partially compensate for the loss of contact with separated fathers, as platforms like WhatsApp allow for communication without requiring physical proximity or emotional closeness,” Tosi said. “However, the findings suggest otherwise.”

“While digital communication is less affected by parental separation, it cannot compensate for the reduced contact experienced by separated fathers and their daughters. On the contrary, separated fathers tend to have less frequent in-person, phone, and also digital contact with their children, suggesting a form of parent-child estrangement.”

The child’s age at the time of parental separation appeared to play a significant role, particularly for daughters. Gender disparities in contact were larger when daughters were younger (ages 0–7) at the time of separation but decreased when separations occurred during adolescence (ages 8–17). This suggests that older children may have more opportunities to form balanced relationships with both parents before separation, reducing the impact on post-separation contact.

The study offers important insights but also has limitations. First, it focused on older parents, who may be less familiar with digital communication tools. This generational factor could limit the study’s applicability to younger families. The analysis also relied on cross-sectional data, meaning that pre-existing conflicts or family dynamics before the separation might have influenced the results.

Future research could explore how changes in digital communication technologies and evolving family policies impact parent-child contact in separated families. Additionally, longitudinal studies could better capture how relationships evolve over time and how specific interventions, such as joint custody arrangements, might improve father-child relationships.

“I aim to further develop research on kinship relationships, exploring both nuclear and extended family ties and examining their effects on the health and wellbeing of younger and older generations,” Tosi said.

The study, “Gender inequality in intergenerational contact after parental separation in the digital era,” was authored by Marco Tosi and Bruno Arpino.