July 17, 2026 2:09 PM
July 17, 2026
We Are Extremely Skeptical of MidJourney’s Weird Device That It Claims Submerges Your Entire Body and Scans It With Ultrasound
In February 2024, scientific journal Frontiers was forced to retract a paper by a team of Chinese and…
Woman Surprised When Flock Surveillance Tower Appears in Her Yard Without Warning
The law’s gaze has grown harder to escape, as surveillance drones and AI-integrated cameras now track movement across…
There May Be Bizarre Forms of Consciousness Drifting Through the Universe, Mind-Bending Paper Claims
Anyone who saw the blockbuster sci-fi film “Project Hail Mary” will remember Rocky, a creature unlike anything we’ve…
Devastating Droughts Are Punching Massive Sinkholes Into Critical Farmland
Human activity-driven climate change has exacerbated droughts, making them more frequent, last longer, and more severe. This summer…
Scientists Publish Extremely Serious Research About Whether Tickling Apes Makes Them Giggle
We love apes. We love that they’re uncanny but pure reflections of our human quirks and foibles, at…
Employees Are Using Their Jobs’ Super-Expensive AI Tokens for the Most Hilariously Pointless Tasks Imaginable
Under all the bluster of AI hype lies a real conundrum: companies are charging out-of-this-world prices for a…
Company Pulls Delivery Robots From All College Campuses
College campuses across the country will no longer be swarming with tiny rolling robots. Starship Technologies, a leading…
Cops Caught Using AI to Edit Picture of Pathetic Drug Bust
After giddy business executives, cops are emerging as some of the AI industry’s most devoted disciples. Police officers…
Trending Surgical Procedure That Changes the Color of Your Eyes Alarms Scientists
A French ophthalmologist is performing surgery that can permanently change the color of your pupils. But not everybody…
Tom Hanks Frets AI Could Voice Woody in Even More “Toy Story” Movies
It’s 2026 and we’re still getting new “Toy Story” movies. In fact, we’re now on “Toy Story 5”…
Event About How to Adapt to Extreme Heat Canceled Due to Brutal Heatwave
Europe is in the grips of a devastating and deadly heatwave, shattering temperature records for the month of…
Korean Workers Vote to Go On Strike, Fearing Robots Could Replace Them
Sensing where the winds are blowing, Hyundai factory workers in South Korea have voted to go on strike…
Sam Altman’s Eyeball Scanning Company Now Laying Off Workers
Look, nobody roots for workers to lose their jobs. But some companies are built on such a ridiculous…
Investigators Questioning Bill Gates Over Ties to Jeffrey Epstein
During a Gates Foundation town hall in February, Microsoft founder Bill Gates apologized for having had extensive contact…
ChatGPT Caught Recommending “Products” That Are Just Scams That Steal Your Credit Card Info
ChatGPT is getting duped by fraudulent storefronts run by scammers — which means you might be getting duped,…
Local Brand Realizes Customers Hate Its AI Ads, Switches to Charming Homemade Ones Instead
In late 2024, the Coca-Cola Company released an unsettling, AI-generated remake of its beloved 1995 “Holidays Are Coming”…
Disaster Strikes When Meme Coin Pays Man to Tattoo Its Name on His Forehead, But They Misspelled It
Earlier this month, crypto marketplace Pump.fun launched an extremely dubious new bounty marketplace that feels like it was…
McDonald’s Deploying AI-Powered Drive-Thru System for Ordering Its Nauseating Foodslop
Coming (back) to a McDonald’s near you: AI-powered drive-thru lanes. That’s right. Those feeling déjà vu aren’t mistaken:…
Argentina Moves to Legalize “Non-Human Corporations” Run by AI
You could already make the case that corporations are faceless monoliths geared purely towards maximizing profits with only…
If You Think AI Companies Are Unethical Now, Wait Until They Go Public
In November 2023, OpenAI CEO Sam Altman was unceremoniously forced out of the company following a dramatic power…
You Can Now Get a Religious Exemption From Using AI at Work
In a strongly-worded rebuke last month, Pope Francis called for AI to be “disarmed.” The criticism comes amid…
Soccer Club Places Huge Kalshi Bet Against Itself
A top soccer club in Spain placed a “multimillion dollar bet against itself” on the prediction market Kalshi,…
Scientists Release Results After Scanning 3I/ATLAS for Alien Signals
In July 2025, astronomers spotted a mysterious object screaming through the solar system from interstellar space. The object,…
Zoo Officials Horrified by AI Data Center Menacing Their Endangered Animals
AI data center projects have become astonishingly unpopular. Their opposition has garnered strong bipartisan support, quickly turning the…