September 15, 2026 9:33 PM
September 15, 2026
Man Drives Cybertruck Into Lake to Test Elon Musk’s “Boat” Claims, and It Went About as Well as You’d Guess
Longtime Cybertruck watchers might remember a peculiar day back before the brutalist pickup was even released, when Tesla…
Doomsday Glacier Shows Signs of Imminent Disintegration
Bad news for anybody holding out hope for a future free of climate disaster: one of the largest…
SpaceX Announces Plans to Put Billionaire on First Rocket to Mars
The future of space travel is pay to play, but that might not be a bad thing. During…
Starbucks Scraps Disastrous AI Tool
Hold onto your pumpkin spice lattes, because Starbucks is canning its AI tool after it turned out to…
Marc Andreessen Sputters Incomprehensibly at Question About How AI Will Actually Benefit Humankind
There’s plenty of hype to go around about AI. It’s going to revolutionize this and automate that. But…
Cannes Film Festival Says the Wall Street Journal Is Wrong: It’s Not Debuting an AI-Generated Feature Film This Week
This week, the Wall Street Journal ran a provocative story claiming that a fully AI-generated movie called “Hell…
Finance Bros Tremble in Fear That They Could Be Replaced by AI Too
It’s not looking good for finance bros as another major banker has sung the praises of AI automating…
Democrats’ 2024 Election Autopsy Shows Signs of Sloppy AI Generation
The long awaited Democratic Party “autopsy” of the 2024 election failure has finally been released, and it’s riddled…
Town Councilmember Goes Berzerk at Surveillance Camera Ban, Threatens to Outlaw Virtually All Modern Technology
Like data centers, automatic license plate readers (ALPRs) are incredibly unpopular with voters around the US. Plenty of…
SpaceX Stock May Actually Be a Horrendous Investment
Elon Musk has just pulled back the curtain on the biggest public stock offering in history, and the…
Fake OpenAI Ads Appear on Subway: “Yes, We Built a Machine That Tells Teenagers to Kill Themselves… But It Might Also Help Them With Their Homework”
An artist in London plastered fake OpenAI ads inside city subway cars calling attention to ChatGPT’s close ties…
Scientists Detect Huge Structure Under Ocean Fueling the Deadly Upcoming El Niño
Scientists say they’ve pinpointed the super-warm undersea structure responsible for this year’s El Niño weather pattern, which they…
AI Agents Are Mathematically Incapable of Doing Functional Work, Paper Finds
A months-old but until now overlooked study recently featured in Wired claims to mathematically prove that large language…
Scientists Say Go Ahead, Keep Gooning
Adult content has never been as accessible as it is now, thanks to the internet. Hell, online smut…
Job Seekers Sue Company Scanning Their Résumés Using AI
Thanks to scores of competing AI systems clogging up online application portals, applying for a new job in…
Scientists Intrigued by Unfamiliar Life Form
It’s a plant! It’s a fungus! It’s… an entirely new type of lifeform hitherto unknown to science? That…
When You Learn How Low the 2025 Murder Rate Was, You’ll Realize How Profoundly the Media Has Failed the American People
The headlines of 2025 painted a portrait of America in chaos, driven by the financial logic of America’s…
Strange Mushroom Makes You See Tiny People Chilling on Every Surface
Magic mushrooms, an informal group of fungi that contain the naturally occurring psychedelic substance psilocybin, are known for…
OnlyFans Rival Seemingly Succumbs to AI Psychosis, Which We Dare You to Try Explain to Your Parents
Something strange is happening with ManyVids, an OnlyFans-like porn platform with millions of users. For roughly the past…
Children Starting School Are Trying to Swipe Books Like They’re Phones
An alarming proportion of kids just starting school are baffled by how books work. In a new survey…
Waymo’s School Bus Situation Just Got Way Worse
If Waymo thought regulators would get off its back for its robotaxis blowing past stopped school buses, it…
Trump Building Top Secret Installation Under East Wing
Three months ago, the Trump administration broke ground on its highly controversial plans to add a sprawling ballroom…
Trump Admin Warns FEMA Not to Talk About “Ice” in Winter Storm Because They’re Scared People Will Use the Clips to Make Fun of ICE
As a severe winter storm approaches, the Trump administration has bigger concerns on its plate: not getting trolled…
Scientist Horrified as ChatGPT Deletes All His Research
ChatGPT may be an excellent tool in case your strongly-worded email to your landlord about that ceiling leak…